Tainted Gift
by SilverFinDragon
Summary: He didn't believe there would be any more Christmas' for him... but he was wrong.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own ToS**_

**Note! Slightly like my previous story "Christmas Story" and can basically be considered the companion.**

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**Tainted Gift**~

It's snowing. Light fluffy snow…

Another Christmas has came and soon another year will past… has it really been this long? 4000 years? And you, dear sister, have still not been revived.

I hear footsteps coming towards the door, Altessa opens it and suddenly…

"MERRY CHRISTMAS EVEYONE!!!" What is happening? I slowly turn my head to see that Lloyd's group has arrived. Why are they here? Wouldn't they want to spend Christmas in their hometowns?

I feel a hard poke in my back and hands suddenly grasp me, "Hi Mithos! Merry Christmas!" Oh joy; I can really feel the Christmas spirit in the room.

"Hi Genis, Lloyd," I mumble. Why are they here? Finally after blabbing about their whole trip to get here and where they've been and killing all of my Desian Leaders, The 5 Grand Cardinals, they leave the room.

I stare out the window… and I can still remember my first and last Christmas celebrated. It was 4000 years ago… the year I had met my teacher Kratos and Yuan. We were in Flanoir… and none of us excluding Kratos knew what Christmas was at all. I remember that day… Kratos and I made a vow that day… a vow that is now shattered in pieces and died with my precious sister… Martel…

The snow falls again, yet the world is no where closer to reaching peace… And I don't believe it will ever be able to find the strength to live.

It has been too long. 4000 years of failure. I stare outside wondering what is even the point of living now. What is the point? And why am I still here?

I'm pulled by Lloyd and Genis into the dinning room. Food is scattered all across the table. The aroma is pleasant and the food I know is delicious but I can't eat. I have no sense of taste so it does not make a difference on rather its Raine's cooking or Regal's or Genis' or Sheena's. But from what I heard from Genis, Raine's cooking could probably kill me anyway.

_That is... if I'm still able to die..._

They're all filled with joy. Smiles can be seen and I can hear their joyous laughter. But I'm not really here, all that exists of me is a crystal filled with my selfish wishes and memories… my shadow. I died in the Holy Grounds... I died with Martel.

This is stupid. They all are too.

Gifts are being distributed and most of them being ones for a laugh. I leave quietly outside.

The world is tainted. Everything should die.

"Mithos?" I hear someone whisper. I turn to face him.

"Yes?" I answer, what does he want?

"Here, this is for you. Merry Christmas!" he says to me with a smile. I stare dumbfound at him.

He's tainted, tainted with his innocence. Like I once was…

How can he trust me so easily? Why does he? It's almost like before… with Kratos and Yuan…

No, I will eventually have to betray them. Befriending him is the wrong thing 'because in the end he will betray me. Like everyone did…

_~No Mithos, this is not the world we envisioned~_

_~But that is merely a motive, not a justification~_

_~Damn! Yggdrasill! How did you know? ~_

They all left me… Martel rejected me all the times I tried to revive her. Kratos betrayed me. And Yuan… all he wanted was to stop me.

His smile fades seeing my expression. "Open it if you want…" he falters, leaving me as he re-enters Altessa's home.

Tainted. Tainted. The gift I hold in my hands is tainted. Tainted with happiness, tainted with friendship I don't deserve.

I open it slowly, and it reveals… a book. A note falls out and I reach down to grab it.

**To: Mithos**

**This used to be the hero Mithos' journal. I acquired it from the Storyteller, but none of us could read its contents due to the lock. I thought you might still like it because you seem to know so much about the Great Kharlan War. Also because the hero Mithos shares your name =) Maybe Altessa can figure out a way to open it. I hope you like it! Merry Christmas! Friends Forever!**

**~Genis Sage**

He is a fool. Giving me this… why would he? Why not keep it for his crazy sister? She loves history.

I stare at my journal. It's tainted… with my stupid wishes, hopes, and dreams… with my damn innocence then.

Friends? We're friends…? I stare… so unsure. Why did he have to give me this?! It just made things harder!

If I wasn't an angel I would cry… cry for my sister, cry for my old friends… cry for this friendship that can never be…

I raise my hand against the cold lock and unseal it and open the old birttle pages of my old journal, and I read the tainted entries I made then…

Martel, you always put me first then… and I put you first now. There are no friendships, no more innocent hopes and dreams.

The snow blows in a fury, like my heart that is against my choice.

I would cry now if I could…

But no one is here…

I slowly unfurl my wings… and I'm high in the sky…

the snow cries my tears for me…

as I clutch the tainted gift against my struggling heart…

_~Owari_


End file.
